we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
