Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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