How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Stone age, man.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.