That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
