oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize