90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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