So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
