Buhtt sex?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
