well most of my day revolves around power hour
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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