They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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