I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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