marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
