If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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