We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
