You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
