About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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