when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
