i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
