she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
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I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize