I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize