This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
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I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
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Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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