You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
