I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
