i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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