I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
