Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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