I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize