Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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