There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
