You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
