I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
