I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
