What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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