Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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