Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
