i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My pussy is not your playground.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
