I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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