if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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