trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
