Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
