I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
