she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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