i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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