My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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