I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
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Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
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Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
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