erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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