Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
