They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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