You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
