I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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