Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
