Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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