My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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