ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
