i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
