Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
