Sponge bath it is.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
