Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
